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My Kids Don’t Like Reading: What we are doing to change it

When we were notified by our kids’ school that they were reading below grade level, we got serious about getting our kids to enjoy reading.

Family Reading

We received the dreaded email that no parent ever wants to receive. Your child is reading below her grade level. The first reaction is “What? MY child? Doesn’t know how to read well? How is this possible?” But it doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the reality to set in and for it to become painfully obvious how it is possible.

Our girls are 6 and 7 years old, and I have probably read them a total of 4 books. More importantly, Sina and I do not model behavior that would lead them to think about reading as an option for spending their free time. In today’s world of endless options for binge watching, once we are done feeding the family, bathing the kids, feeding the dogs, and taking a moment to breathe, the only thing we want to do is watch the next episode of (insert title of latest Netflix Original here).

That’s it… our dreams are shattered. How will our girls ever grow up to be President of the United States unless they are intelligent, well-read, cultured… oh wait, I guess the bar really isn’t that high anymore. Well how will our girls ever grow up to be the next Notorious RBG unless they are intelligent, well-read, cultured, strong, confident women? Then we remembered that they are only in 1st and 2nd grade, and that maybe it’s not too late to save them from becoming professional couch-potatoes.

I thought about what books I enjoyed when I was younger. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe was one that stood out. After Tuesday afternoon’s ballet class I was on a mission to get my girls to start enjoying reading. We went straight to Barnes & Noble and I found The Narnia Chronicles. I thought that maybe if I read them something that they could get excited about, they would see that reading is fun. “Bob Books” may be good to get them started with reading but the stories have no substance. I also bought something that we could take turns reading. The Narnia books are too difficult for their reading level, so we stocked up on several “Magic Treehouse” books.

When we got home yesterday I started to read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to the girls. I decided to skip the first book entitled “The Magician’s Nephew” which apparently was written later as a prequel because the guy in Barnes & Noble said it wasn’t very good, and I believed him. I wasn’t going to take the chance of reading something boring to the girls and losing their interest. It was hard enough to get them to sit still when I started reading.

It only took one chapter for them to be hooked, and they kept begging for more and more. At one point Luka said “Papa I’m not sure if I want you to keep reading… I’m scared.” That’s when I knew it was working. I offered to stop but she insisted I keep going, and before we knew it I had read 40 pages and it was past 9pm. They found themselves not wanting to go to bed, not because they wanted to watch yet another episode of My Little Pony (just kill me now), but because they wanted me to keep reading.

Today after I picked them up from school and as we made our way through the rain back home, they said “we know what we’re going to do when we get home!” They were excited about continuing the story. Before we continued though, we started to read Book 1 of The Magic Treehouse, each of us taking turns reading a page until we got through 2 chapters. Then it was back to Narnia… First with a big bowl of popcorn, then as I cooked dinner, then as we baked chocolate chip cookies and then as they had their bath. As Luka was in her bed about to go to sleep, she exclaimed “Aslan is so awesome!”

It seems to be working, and the crazy part is that I’m enjoying it as much as they are. Why did it take the email of doom from the teacher to wake us up? I don’t know. But hopefully it’s not too late. Our impending move to Paris is a great opportunity to replace TV time with reading time. We can get a fresh baguette or maybe some hot chocolate croissants, lounge in the Tuileries Garden and read a great book. If it’s not too cold and rainy that is…

I also started to think about alternative ways that I might get my girls to practice reading. I showed them ‘funny’ feed on Reddit and had them read the headlines (the ones that were appropriate for kids anyway!). But I found the pictures and videos were too distracting. I went onto Amazon today and bought the Amelia Bedelia books. I remember thinking those were hilarious when I was little. Are there any great books that you have found that your kids can’t get enough of? If anyone has had similar experiences, or has any advice, I would love to hear it.

Paris – It’s about to get real

It was about 2 weeks ago now that Sina and I started toying with the idea of living in Paris for a year. We had just spent the summer in Mallorca and found ourselves longing to spend some more time in Europe. The stars all seemed to align very quickly. The house sitters from the summer are able to stay and take care of our pets while we are gone. It works out quite positively professionally and I was able to get the green light from the powers that be to go. We now have plane tickets for early October and are in the process of finding a school for our 2 girls and a place to live. Not so easy…

AiBnB’s options are extremely limited given the last minute nature of our move. We have been dealing with one agency called LODGIS which has some good reviews in Tripadvisor but so far they seem extremely busy and it is difficult to get someone on the phone. We were finally able to submit an application today for an apartment. There is another agency called VINGT in Paris which has some pretty scary reviews. This morning I spoke briefly with the owner Susie Hollands and her curt demeanor matched the reviews. She literally said “I am not in a position to spend any more time on the phone with you.” I’m thinking maybe she should not be having conversations with customers. A few moments later though I received a call from Tycen in their office and he was extremely nice and helpful.

We have narrowed it down to 2 schools, but the idea of sending our girls to a school without seeing it, without meeting the teachers and knowing how we will get to school everyday from our apartment is just a little too much risk for my level of tolerance. So today I booked a ticket to head to Paris on Sunday. Luckily United Airlines had a ticket available using miles that wasn’t terrible. Finding a place to stay was a bit more challenging. The hotels are quite pricey and I did not want to spend over $1,000 for a hotel room for 5 nights. I found a decent apartment in AirBnB for $60 per night but as I was booking it someone snatched it out from under me! So I had to spring for an apartment for $109 per night. About $600 for the 5 nights.

I’ll arrive early Monday morning and have the week to visit the schools, meet the teachers, look at neighborhoods and hopefully secure an apartment. Given that we are going until next summer, I don’t feel confident signing contracts for schools and apartments without seeing them first.

Stay tuned for more updates next week, where I will be on location in Paris scoping out our life for the next year.

Paris Update – September 10, 2018

It was only about a week ago that Sina and I started toying with the idea of moving to Paris. Since then, we have organized house sitters, I’ve gotten the green light from work, and we have done a ton of research. There was a period of about 3 hours where I was trying to convince Sina that perhaps we should choose Lyon or Marseille over Paris, to get a more authentic French experience and not be surrounded by English speakers. I lived in Paris for about 6 months in 2002 during my Masters program at the Cornell Hotel School. They had a sister program at IMHI which is part of the ESSEC business school in Cergy Pontoise, about an hour outside of Paris. But I had landed an internship with Sol Melia Hotels & Resorts and I offered to work for free in exchange for a room in a city center hotel, which gave me the privilege of living in Paris during my time there. I remember distinctly that when I would make an attempt to speak French to people in Paris, they would get easily frustrated with my lack of proficiency and switch to English, making it quite difficult to practice and learn the language. I lost the argument with Sina pretty quickly. Paris, being one of the fashion centers of Europe and its allure of romance has too much going for it to be shadowed by Lyon or Marseille.

This morning, we woke Luka and Taj at around 4am, got them dressed and fed, and sat at the kitchen counter for a 5am Skype Interview with a Montessori school in Paris. Over a year ago we had a similar interview with a Montessori school in Mallorca when we were considering a potential move there. We hadn’t prepared the girls, and during the interview they behaved like monkeys. I can’t really say they behaved badly, they were just being kids… we made the mistake of sitting on the floor and so they were climbing all over us and giggling throughout the interview. Suddenly, the school didn’t have enough space for them. This time, we were not going to make the same mistake. So we prepared the girls and on two separate occasions discussed how they would ‘keep their bodies still’ and speak politely and with confidence. Well, at least this time they weren’t climbing on our heads, but the interview did last for about 30 minutes and they did start to get silly in the middle of it. Sometimes I wonder if the person interviewing us is more interested in the children’s behavior, or how we handle it. Nevertheless, by the end of the interview suddenly the interviewer wasn’t sure if they had 2 spots available and said she would have to check and get back to us. After we put the girls back to sleep to catch another 2 hours of sleep before going to school, we debated whether we had just experienced yet another rejection based on the girls (or maybe our) performance, or if the interviewer really wasn’t sure if she had the space.

Luckily, we had another option. Later that morning I called another school, and this time I spoke to them myself. She asked why we had chosen a Montessori education for our girls. I explained that my wife and I are a bit eccentric in the sense that we typically don’t fit in. We are unique individuals and we are proud of that fact. We wanted our girls to grow up being proud of their differences and to have the confidence to be who they are without feeling the pressure to conform to be part of a group. Furthermore I strongly believe that everyone should do what they love, and that if you are passionate about something or talented in a certain area you can be successful even if you’re not great at math or science. The Montessori philosophy focuses on each child’s individual strength even if that is art or creativity. This is why we love the philosophy. The discussion was great and it appears that we have now found a school for our two girls. Check another box on the list!

We still do not have a place to live, and I think this is going to be a challenge. There are very few options on AirBnB and maybe that’s because we are making such a last minute decision. It says there are only 1% of listings still available but I really don’t believe that. While there are other sites that have longer term rentals available, the selection is quite limited in the neighborhoods we prefer, and we are worried that nobody is going to get back to us. I have a feeling we are going to have to just pick something for October that is slightly outside the city and organize an apartment after we arrive.

Luckily, Sina and the girls have European passports so we don’t have any legal issues when it comes to staying there for more than 3 months. I will be traveling in and out for work so I shouldn’t have any issues either.

We started to look at plane tickets. I will never understand airline pricing. If I buy a ticket to Paris leaving October 1st and returning in August 2019, the price is $2,000. If I leave October 1st and come back in 2 weeks it’s $500?? So I’m better off buying the 2 week ticket and just not using the return trip. In the end I think we will end up using frequent flyer miles on United. Sadly they want 60,000 miles per person! Ouch… But right now I would rather not spend the cash, and we really don’t know when we will come back so we need to have the flexibility to change that return date without paying $800 in change fees for 4 tickets.

There is so much to think about, not to mention a LOT going on at work so keeping up with both is challenging. But we are starting to download French music on Spotify and I will soon download Babbel so I can start learning French. I have forgotten what little I had learned 16 years ago. I tried Rosetta Stone for German and I got about half way through it. I have heard good things about Babbel so I will give it a try.

I started researching tax implications today as well. If I stay in France for 6 months or more, then I have to pay tax in France on my full income for the year! So we may need to modify our plan and spend July and August somewhere else. Italy maybe? Greece? We shall see. There is also apparently a tax credit if you are outside the US for a certain period of time but there are plenty of rules around that, so I have written to my accountant to learn more.

As of now I would say there is a 90% chance we are moving to Paris! There are still some details to work out but right now everything appears to be falling into place quite nicely. The universe appears to be telling us to go. Who are we to refuse?

Next Stop: Paris?

After spending the summer in Mallorca, coming back to the United States was not easy. While we missed the comfort of being in our own home and of course we missed all of our pets, we suddenly found ourselves feeling like we no longer belong in Charlottesville. During a conversation with Sina last week, I mentioned that Peter (the founder of Kognitiv) and Mergim (a friend within my company) are both moving to London and she said “Maybe we should be moving to London too.” I don’t know how serious she was, but it stuck with me. Maybe we SHOULD be moving to London. Why the hell not?

We started to seriously think about the possibility of moving to London. We looked for Montessori schools and there were a few options. The first problem was that almost every school had a uniform. What gives? Is that just a British thing? Montessori is all about celebrating individuality. How can you have a school uniform? Given our family’s love of fashion, that just wasn’t going to happen. Neither Sina nor I have ever been excited about the prospect of living in London. Both of us believe that our happiness has a direct correlation to the amount of sunlight exposure we have, and Sina correctly pointed out that constant rain puts a damper (pardon the pun) on one’s wardrobe options. Most importantly, as we are focused on exposing Luka and Taj to new cultures and languages, London probably isn’t the best option. It is a very diverse, multi-cultural city, but the girls would not learn a new language.

Maybe we should go to Paris? It’s a 2 hour train ride from London, so I could easily go meet with Peter and Mergim… It’s quite central and I can easily get anywhere in Europe for work, we could all learn French, and well, it’s PARIS. As we started to think more about it, the uneasy feeling that we both had about London quickly disappeared and was replaced with a feeling of excitement. For the last several days we have been writing to Montessori schools and AirBnB renters to check out our options.

As luck would have it, the house sitters that took care of our house and pets over the summer while we were in Mallorca fell in love with Charlottesville and decided to move there! They do not have a place to live yet, and after speaking with them it appears they would be more than happy to stay in our house for a year.

This week in Toronto I ran the idea by Peter and one or two others to ensure there were no objections, and it appears I have the green light from work. So all of the pieces now appear to be falling into place. The only concern that remains now is a financial one. We really cannot afford to pay our mortgage in Charlottesville and rent an apartment in Paris at the same time. Not to mention, it is a given that we will spend more money, on clothes, food, traveling, etc. Plus, we would lose 40% of the tuition on the girls’ current school. It’s going to add up fast.

But the girls are not getting any younger and it has always been our dream to take them and live in different countries, and learn new languages. If we put it off, it will never happen. After selling my company 2 years ago, it feels like it’s time to start achieving more of our personal goals. Best of all, we can do that while still making significant contributions to the company and growing professionally. As of now, I think it’s a gamble worth taking. Sina and I are going to discuss it this weekend and hopefully we will have a decision by Monday.

Yucatan Peninsula – Summer 2017

In the summer of 2017, our goal was to swim with the whale sharks in Holbox. So we decided to make a 2 week trip out of it and explore the Yucatan Peninsula.

We started out trip in Playa del Carmen. We chose the Be Playa hotel which was perfect. Service was excellent and the atmosphere had a chic vibe but was still kid-friendly. Perfect for us. We had an excellent breakfast every morning that we looked forward to, and the Quinta Avenida was only a block away. We weren’t thrilled with the beach in Playa del Carmen. It was quite crowded and didn’t feel relaxing at all. If you like Frida Khalo, don’t miss the new museum in downtown Playa del Carmen.

From Playa del Carmen we moved to Alaya Tulum. Again, excellent service and beautiful hotel. We chose a room that was not directly on the beach but was very close. We were lucky to have chosen a time of year when the turtles were laying their eggs on the beach. At night one can go out and sit on the beach and if you’re lucky you will see turtles coming up out of the ocean onto the beach, digging a giant hole and laying their eggs. The process takes hours but just to see these magnificent creatures crawling on the beach is quite a spectacle. Thankfully there are many local volunteers that patrol the beaches at night to ensure that the tourists don’t get too close or disturb the turtles in any way. If you visit during the summer months please do not use flashlights on the beaches at night, as this confuses the turtles. We liked Tulum, but we didn’t love it. That’s because outside of the hotel there are little shops and plenty of restaurants to explore, but walking on the narrow street in Tulum with the traffic is a bit stressful, especially if you have kids. I wish there was some way they could make it more pedestrian friendly. Maybe close off the street to traffic and taxis and only have a local tram that takes people up and down Tulum. Also, while the beach is beautiful, the surf was quite rough, at least while we were there. So it wasn’t that enjoyable to bathe in the ocean.

From Tulum we hit the road and drove to Valladolid. We stayed at Hotel El Mesón del Marqués and loved it! Now, keep in mind this is not a luxurious hotel. The rooms were Days Inn quality at best, but if you can get past that, I highly recommend choosing this property. The website doesn’t do it justice. First of all it is located right on the main plaza of Valladolid, which we were ecstatic about since there was a festival going on in the square during our visit which meant a street market, music, ice cream and more. If you enter the hotel from the square, you would be entering through the restaurant which has an authentic hacienda feel to it. In fact the entire property feels like a traditional authentic Mexican property. If they would upgrade their rooms they could charge 3 times the price but they have a lot of rooms so I would imagine that would be a challenge, and I don’t know how many tourists visit Valladolid, although they should! We used Valladolid as a base to visit several cenotes around the area as well as Rio Lagartos and Los Colorados where the pink lakes are. Many of the cenotes are quite touristy and commercialized. We found one that was incredible and there was hardly anyone there. It’s a bit off the beaten path but completely worth it. It’s called Cenote Oxman. It’s located within a Hacienda (Hacienda San Lorenzo Oxman), and you have to drive down a dirt road to get there. The owners were there enjoying the pool with their family and were extremely nice. The cenote there is pristine and it’s the one you can see in the video with the rope swing.

The tour in Rio Lagartos was ok. We got to see a few flamingos and it was a nice boat ride and all, but what made the trip worthwhile was to see the pink lakes in Los Colorados. From what was explained to us, the water is pink because of the salt mines. The company adds an agent to the water which allows them to produce more salt and it turns the water pink. You are not supposed to go in the water and there are people patrolling the lake to tell people to get out. So don’t be fooled by the Instagram pictures that make it look like you can leisurely swim and float in the lake. However, it is pretty cool and worth a visit.

From Valladolid we drove to Holbox, the highlight of the trip. We stayed at Casa de Las Tortugas which again, we absolutely loved and would definitely stay there again. We stayed in the Frida Khalo room and since Sina is crazy about Frida, this was a big hit. Holbox has suffered lately from over tourism and we could feel that while we were there. The electricity would go out sometimes during the day and it was quite crowded in the streets. We spoke with some locals who had lived there from the time when there was nothing and they voiced their discontent with the uncontrolled influx of tourists. If I had lived there I would probably feel the same way and completely understood their feelings of frustration. We arrived on one of the last ferries and there were no taxies waiting at the terminal, so we had to walk to the hotel. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem because it’s really not that far, but… we don’t travel light, and so we had to drag a few large bags through the dirt roads of Holbox. But it was worth it. Swimming with the whale sharks was an experience that none of us will ever forget. It takes a good 2 hours by boat to get to the place where they swim. We spotted one and got to swim with it for a bit but then she went down deep into the water and we couldn’t see her anymore. The water tends to be a bit cloudy because of all the plankton, which is why they are there in the first place. We convinced our tour guide to let us find another one, and this time we spent quite a lot of time with her. She let us swim right along side for quite a while before we just couldn’t keep up anymore. These sharks are completely harmless and are beautiful, docile creatures. Swimming with whale sharks is something that you should definitely add to your bucket list.